Posts tagged i wish more people would love it as much as i do.
RvB Drabble: Earned
“You don’t deserve this,” he exhaled, softly, and she looked at him, hard.
“I chose this assignment, Wyoming,” she said defensively, protecting her desert and temple and alien allies and everything that the freelancer program never was. The integrity of a lie that she tells herself is better than the lie the Director used to say every day. “I deserve what I want, and this is exactly what I want. Something I can make a difference with. Something where I can be the most useful.”
The man smiled, standing his ground, smiling for himself and CT took a step back, unconsciously not wanting to intrude. “You misunderstand.”
“Then explain,” she demanded, crossing her hands against being ridiculed.
“You don’t deserve me, Connecticut.”
“I’m sorry?” she said mockingly, head and eyebrow cocked for added effect. “What makes you think I ever wanted you?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, far too easily. “You don’t deserve this, but I don’t know how to stop giving it.”
She leaned back on her heels, arms still crossed, an invisible barrier put up in front of her of personal space and, more importantly, distance. He saw this and laughed. “Why are you here, Wyoming?”
Because I need to see you. “No reason.” Because I need to feel this thing, hate or love or both, this thing you give off like the sun gives off light. “Just curiosity.” Because anything you give me is better than not knowing, not thinking, not hearing. “I wanted to see how you turned out. After the project.”
It was small and quiet and desperate - “and?”
He chuckled himself out of her room, her digger, her temple, her desert. He laughed himself out of her gaze and glare and huffs and crossed hands, and he sighed himself away from her eyes and her voice and the way her muscles tensed and how she’d barely looked like she aged a day. He looked back when it was just a sea of sand and wondered if he’s wake up tomorrow morning regretting this, praying it was all a dream, because somewhere, he knew: she didn’t deserve his love.